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Hefty competition in presiding commissioner race - Budget shortfalls, jail overcrowding and economic development are main priorities for candidates / City employees feel the chill as council seeks funding for more police - Police will be able to focus on more important issues instead of minor traffic accidents / Childs may soon face the heat on the board of Public Utilities / Timmon’s Temple escapes demolition … for now / Messenger and Hunt square off again for District 130 - Economic development a key priority for both candidates / Governor vetoes bill exempting e-cigs from tobacco laws / McCaskill introduces legislation to protect whistleblowers / Meetings begin in state effort to reduce carbon pollution / Filbeck campaign receives Planned Parenthood endorsement / Mother’s brews ale for ALS / Harmony House names new executive director / Local humanitarian honored for her dedication / Common Interest Thrift Store opening in Nixa / Honor fallen heroes of 9-11 at annual stair climb / Springfield to host the Special Olympics Missouri in 2015 / MDC looking for conservationists / Run with the Turtles at B&B Theatres

 
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The Edge

Primary School

   
Bob Mace
   

There’s nothing like primary election season. Candidate reaction to the most recent Edge column indicates that many who seek offices suffer from emaciated dermis: They are thin skinned.

Most primary candidates, their friends and family have little or no experience at campaigning. After watching a couple of episodes of “Battleground” these folks come out the other end convinced they’ve attained a psychic combination of Karl Rove, Dick Morris and James Carville. The reason there’s a coffee shortage has less to do with plant disease in South America than it does with primary candidates who can café-pontificate an hour with one another to partially explain the concept of competency.

The Edge realizes that it’s difficult to generate the same excitement in a $2,500 campaign for Public Administrator as comes from the billion-dollar extravaganzas that characterize presidential politics. Off-year primary elections not only demonstrate that all politics are local, they also showcase the fact that the political candidate organizations involved are populated with local yokels.

Also on the August 5th ballot are five proposed Missouri Constitutional Amendments. Since Missouri’s Governor approved these five issues, they are logically numbered 1, 5, 7, 8 and 9. The Edge is concerned about the absence of numbers 2, 3, 4 and 6.

All of these proposed amendments share a common thread. They either limit some federal initiative or seek to duplicate it. Tea Party primary candidates should approve The Edge’s hypothesis that duplicating a federal program with a state program equates to throwing good money after bad.

Amendment one is known as “The Right To Farm Amendment.” Who knew it would take a constitutional change to assure somebody the right to plant corn seeds? Surprisingly, most farmers oppose this one saying it really favors the foreign owners of agri-business conglomerates.

 

Amendment five comes to voters as “The Right To Bear Arms Amendment.” The “Right To Bare Arms” amendment would be supported by customers of Missouri tattoo parlors.

Number seven sets up an additional sales tax to fund repair of infrastructure. These are the same projects for which The President is pushing Congress for funding; the same ones that were supposed to benefit from the Stimulus Act.

Amendment eight would create a Missouri veterans lottery ticket to produce funds for veteran services. The Edge likes veterans, but the lottery was supposed to fund education. Furthermore, if it’s the federal government’s responsibility to take care of veterans’ needs let’s expect that to happen. Well meaning as they may be, state funding and charities like Wounded Warriors permit our federal government not to do its job.

The final amendment guarantees the right of privacy where mobile phones are concerned. The Edge suggests combining amendment one and amendment nine making it legal for Missourians to confiscate and agriculturally plant mobile devices used in an obnoxious and overbearing manner. An alternative is to combine this one with amendment two so that all Missouri citizens have the right to bear arms for the express purpose of shooting cell phone yakety-yakers out of their way in parking lots, retail stores and, most importantly restaurants.

Meanwhile, our primary candidates are busy deploying a day shift of volunteers who dutifully put out yard signs and distribute literature touting the candidate’s integrity. The same candidates often employ a night shift of volunteers who, with great integrity, destroy opponent’s signs. The night shift is also responsible for erecting signs on high-traffic public right-of-ways in hopes that the city, county and state road crews have something better to do than question the integrity of candidate’s ignoring ordinances.

Don’t forget to vote on August 5th.


E-mail Bob Mace: bmace@cfpmidweek.com.


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